Finding My Way Home: Reconnecting With The Song Of My Soul
The Story of Starchild
For my 16th birthday, a dear friend wrote a play for me, casting me into the lead role of ‘Starchild’. It was a precious gift to receive and one I will always cherish.
He wrote of magical realms and faerie folk. A pure spirit, unblemished by the world, sent as a light to battle the darkness.
Of course, I didn’t realise it at the time, but Tamlen, my storyteller, was writing a piece of his own story. The darkness was an internal struggle in his mind. Our friendship was a spark of light to guide him through.
We performed our play with a cast of friends. Creative souls with many talents- singers, dancers, jugglers, circus performers, and fire breathers. Our handmade, lovingly crafted costumes were painted with streaks of neon so they glowed under the ultra-violet light.
We were accompanied by musicians at the side of the stage. Each performance was unique as they played to the rhythm of their heart’s song.
It was a moment in time so beautiful and so perfect. A powerful energetic connection, drawing us together.
I imagined my life ahead filled with the same magic and energy that radiated from our tribe of enchanted free spirits. I imagined always feeling immersed in love and creativity. Of an eternal connection to these people and this world.
But I didn’t foresee the vibrancy of my younger self would fade once I stepped out of our realm. A gradual dimming until I found myself submerged and disconnected.
I didn’t know that my fire would be extinguished, my worth would be in question, and love would be used to control. I didn’t know becoming a woman would mean bearing shame upon my body, and that my innocence could be used as a weapon against me. That my heart would be torn from me, but still it would keep seeking.
Once a being of light, like Tamlen, I found my own darkness. No more a free spirit but now a lost soul.
I’d forgotten how to believe in the magic that creates worlds. I moved through each day robotic and unfeeling. Caught in the monotony, unfulfilled, unexcited, uninspired.
Seasons passed with no melody to decorate the marching beat of time.
I allowed myself to sink into the comforting embrace of the shadows. Observing the colours of the outer world begin to meld like a painting caught in the rain.
Until the day a gentle breeze carried a whisper of a past world and a memory just out of reach. Enticing and hypnotic, it taunted me, dispersing in a scurry each time I rose to follow.
But I could feel it through my veins, the pulse of a rhythm calling me home. The drum of the free, in time with the beat of my heart.
There was no way back, Starchild had long since grown and the faerie folk dispersed. But her essence, and the spirit of my realm and my people, would remain in my heart. For they had molded me in their love and their belief that I could be the light in the storm.
It was time for a new story to be written and brought to life. A story of purpose and passion, adventures and bravery.
A story where I can choose the characters that inhabit my world, and with fingertips outstretched, I can reach out to those who are lost in the woods and bring them home. A story of treasures and great love, of mystical lands and magical beings.
A story of my body radiant and powerful, bearing a child and guiding him on his journey. Reaching up to catch a star for him to use as his nightlight, so he never has to be afraid of the dark.
With my pen as my sword, I can face whatever I encounter on my path and I will always remain connected to the fire in my soul.
I am home.
